Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rights! Don't give up the fight!
The American people are being accosted at every level. With our economic and political systems in disarray, our public schools failing, and the outrageously unaffordable price of universities and health care comes the signaling of a new era.
Since WWII the government has polluted every avenue of the "American Dream". They have taken away our rights, one by one, in a "war against terrorism".
Most recently, the deregulation of Wall Street has caused a global financial crisis. In response to economic disorder that spawned from excess credit and debt, the government decided to take 700 BILLION taxpayer dollars (cost estimated $2,295 per American), and generously donate our money to various banks of their choosing. Economist Michael Hudson predicts that the bailout would cause hyperinflation and dollar collapse. In addition to handing banks money, the Treasury Department also appointed The Bank of New York Mellon to oversee the bailout. The government also gave an undisclosed chunk of the bailout to this bank. Hmmm…conflict of interest?
And of course, in this land of opportunity, you don’t have to look very far to find more government corruption. The USDA, FDA, EPA, FCC, and countless others have failed the American people. Our drinking water is polluted with every pharmaceutical known to man, and is then pumped full of fluoride and chlorine. Our meat and dairy products are full of hormones and antibiotics that wreak havoc on the human body. Our produce is smothered in pesticides. A dead zone as big as the state of New Jersey spreads through the Gulf of Mexico every year, as millions of tons of pesticides and fertilizers applied to Midwest farms are carried into the Gulf via the Mississippi River. Agribusiness destroys countless acres of pristine forest and wilderness each year to support unsustainable farming practices.
And what are Americans doing in response? Not a whole heck-of-a lot. For the average American living paycheck to paycheck, organic food and “green” household products are far too costly in comparison to chemical cleaners and processed Wal-Mart food. This is becoming a society in which only the elite can afford to live naturally. For the rest of the ill informed Americans, say hello to cancer, respiratory problems, memory disorders, dermatological conditions, depression, miscarriages, birth defects, and neurological deficits.
Why don't most people my age give a fuck about anything? In other countries, such as Greece and France, the youth are concerned and involved. When an injustice is presented to them, nearly immediate rioting ensues.
I'm mad as hell, wondering why you're not mad as hell!
We need to WAKE UP!
The people who govern you do NOT have your best interest at heart! The pharmacteical industry, biotechnology companies, agribusiness, and chemical companies do not exist to help us. They want you to be sick and uneducated because it is more PROFITABLE.
Educate yourself, educate those around you, and unite!
blaring
Pining for daftly crafted delusions
On a day to day
And a night to light peeking through the black tarp
Spinning in disordered surrendering dreams
My eyes flitter flatter as they connect with my open mouth
Lips unlocked and blaring
My tongue connects the unknown terror to a sound
Floating on a hope
That the clocks of tomorrow will not
Tick in unison with the illusions
So present like the first time you realize you are alone.
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cave
Women are emotional, women are attached. According to most men, women can be clingy and jealous when in a relationship. Men have a typical tendency to be more laid back when it comes to these matters.
Think about the actual act of sex. All things aside, what is happening? A large (or small) long (or short) object is entering and exiting a warm hole, sometimes gently, but more often than not in an abrasive, intrusive way. I ask this of guys- is it really any surprise to you that women act the way they act? I mean, think about if that were you, would you really want various strange creatures hibernating in your cave? The actual act of sex is speaks to the dynamic between men and women…the intrusion, and the acceptance and enjoyment of that intrusion. Most guys find it so easy to stick their member into any inviting entrance just because "they can", and when the numbers get into the double and triple digits, it is "cool". They are congratulated with "Yea, man! You're such a stud!"
I believe I have an understanding why- partly society's standards for a male, partly their primeval instinct to impregnate as many females as possible. But I can't pretend that I'm still not disappointed that most guys find it so impossible to honestly be faithful to a woman. It fascinates me how some of the most beautiful girls I know have boyfriends who cheat on them incessantly with way less attractive girls. Why is one girl not enough? Is it necessary to sleep with the first girl you see, just because she's ready and willing? If there is anything I have learned in my past relationship experience, it's that I have tremendous respect for people with standards. I feel that any person who keeps some version of sanctity, and restricts sex to only people they truly care about, has a lot more going for them than most people, because that means they have self respect.
Now of course I realize this is a two way street, women are capable of the same thing, but more often than not, it is the men who are the "confused" ones. It is the men who cheat just because they can.
Sex can be a beautiful thing between two people when there is a mutual caring and understanding for one another, but when the equilibrium is disturbed, it can become so tainted that it develops into something vulgar.
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hfcs
After the pharmacists at my job gave a presentation on the damaging effects of high fructose corn syrup, i took quite an interest in it. I looked through my refrigerator and was surprised to find that even some of foods which i thought were healthy actually contained HFCS. It's in everything, and if people keep consuming it in high doses, we could end up with an even more obese America, not to mention a nation full of diabetics...
I am strongly convinced that the FDA has minimal interest and concern for our health. Corporate food conglomerates dictate what will and will not be approved. One need not look further than the case of aspartame for proof of this collusion.
"In 2004, researchers published an article in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, concluding "there is a distinct likelihood that the increased consumption of HFCS in beverages may be linked to the increase in obesity." In this article, they explain that fructose does not stimulate the pancreas to release insulin and, in turn, does not trigger the secretion of the hormone leptin, which is instrumental in making us feel satiated. These researchers also point to the fact that the increased use of HFCS in the United States mirrors the dramatic increase in obesity. HFCS now accounts for more than 40 percent of the caloric sweeteners added to food and drinks."
"What about those with diabetes? On the surface, it would seem that a sugar that doesn't raise blood glucose and insulin would be a godsend for people with diabetes. However, like most things, it's not that simple. First, fructose is combined with glucose and other sugars to make HFCS. Second, in animal studies, rodents fed large amounts of fructose became insulin resistant (a precursor to diabetes) and developed high triglycerides. Combine this with the idea that fructose may suppress the release of the appetite-regulating hormone leptin and you've got a prescription for upping obesity and diabetes risks."
"HFCS was rapidly introduced in many processed foods and soft drinks in the US over the period of about 1975–1985.The occurrence of new cases of type 2 diabetes has doubled over the past three decades, according to a report in the American Heart Association's journal Circulation - June 2006. The percentage of overweight children in the United States has tripled since 1980. The epidemic of type 2 diabetes cases across the nation is likely to lead to a substantially higher incidence of strokes among middle-aged adults and newly diagnosed diabetics."
http://www.femhealth.com/dangersofhfcs.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_fructose_corn_syrup
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door
Take me into your sight
Yea, contemplate those 78 positions
Mark my sternum with your beaming laser
Unfurl your posture and approach
Within you I'll find an empty box
Play to the composition of my spine
Your smile overshadows withdrawal
Convinced, it was printed on my face.
I remind you of yourself a little.
The same self you hate.
There's nothing inside is their?
Every lover is a revolving door.
Every lover is a revolving door.
Every lover is a revolving door.
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curls, curves
Opposed hipbones descend on the other's magnetism
My waves collapse into her shoreline
Shifting eyes fixate on her curls, curves
Sifting through the sunshine to find her smile
-------------------------
convergence:
Resurrection: self
Clothed in naked infamy, and I'm
Seconds from the inside of sanity.
Far, but right there with me
When wind Chimes clash and wine.
Intertwined:
Friend and lover lines, and
Decibels of illogical sounds that
Permeate convergence.
We made new inventions in this connection and
I won't disappear in your reflection
Darlin, you don't have to despair.
One day
One day
Maybe we will
One day
Thursday, November 03, 2005
EYE love you!
Rach, Britt and I before we went to the costume par-tay
Me and Britt
Halloween!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
I was such a stud when I was little...
This is Lauren, Ceder and I about a month ago...
here's a pic of me at the Madora Musical in North Dakotah
a picture I took of an ENORMOUS toaaaad.
A pic I took when we were up at pinetop hiking
Me and my Dill at a party this summer
We just got a scanner/printer, so I scanned a bunch of pictures from when I was little.
Hey yall...lol. I'm at Brittany's house right now~ I'm staying the night so we can wake up early tomorrow morning for warped tour. I'm going to be so exhausted,I am going to be out in the blazing sun with sweaty ppl from 9am to 9pm...it's crazy. Anywho, yea my camera broke. It was a p.o.s. and I had to return it! grrrr.
I'm leaving for Montana on the 4th of July. I'm way excited to see him~ also I think I am going to Great Falls to do a backpacking trip with my friends Ceder and Lauren. Yaaay. So, I think I'm gonna have a pretty busy summer! I'll try to post more...I've been kinda busy tho
I <3 you all!
xoxo Heidi
I just got a $300 camera yesterday! We are going to my mom's friends cabin tonight, and staying until saturday.I am going to take some awesome pictures there. I guess its up by pine top. I also got my swim suit in the mail today. It's really pretty...its blue w/ sparkles. It was amazing that I actually found a suit that fits my unwanted large breasts. lol
Darn it Mr. Bush...they are just trying to get your photo!
This is us!
It's decided...I am leaving on the 28th for Arizona. We are going to spend a few days in Great Falls, and then tour down to the Grand canyon back to Phoenix. I start summer school on the 27th of June...grr I hate math. I'll probably apply for some kind of job, I really want to work at Charlotte Russe! It's my favorite.
This is everyone who went to state (I'm in the middle)
Here is a picture of our choir performing.
Just to relieve everyone from their suspense, I recieved a one at state on my solo. Our trio recieved a two.
I received a superior rating on my solo, Gretchen am Spinnrade, at the district music festival last Friday-- and believe it or not, Amanda, Kyla, and I received a one on our trio, Homeward Bound! State is in Billings on May 6th and 7th…and we are staying in some motel.... I feel like I am getting a cold; it has been really rainy and drizzly here for the past week or so. I havent been practicing my song as much as I should, considering I will be singing in front of a stricter judge…eeeek! I hope it comes together by next week.
Dylan holding a friendly cat that I wanted to kidnap (well, cat-nap i guess) and take home and snuggle!
Dylan hugging Hale- Bop
Airhead...lol
This is the "Big Date". We live large. That's right...Dairy Queen.
Here is cute lil Dylan making that dumb face (that I think is cute anyway, of course)
Here is a picture of "Prom" even though we didn't actually go...we did go out to eat at Dairy Queen tho!
So,what is new with me?
~ had my wisdom teeth removed last Friday-it SUCKED of course, as I spent many days thereafter like a drugged-out bum
~ am hating living in Terry because it is mind-numbing, racist, and monotonous
~ recently updated the web page (hope you like it!)
~ am on spring break right now, but remain VERY bored b/c Dylan went to Chicago
~ dyed my hair an even darker color (not like anyone even notices or cares anymore lol)
Here is a recent picture of my mom...this is for her album cover
Merry Easter (That's right, I said merry)
I found an article that describes this town perfectly...(well except for the fact that there actually IS other nationalities here. I found this at http://goldsea.com/Air/True/0701/hick.htmlHapa Male Growing Up in Hick TownI need to know something. First, I am half asian(thai) and half caucasian. I live in Virginia and was raised here since I was ten. I went away to college when I was 18, but my life here in, where I was raised, has been a total hell. I look somewhat hispanic, some people even argue white with dark features. Anyway, my mother is thai and she met my father while he was in the army and brought her to the states. My father is a total piece of shit. He is selfish and doesn't care for anyone but himself. Needless to say that is why they separated when they came here. My father was one of these ugly unattractive people who couldn't find anyone to love him so he brought my mother here to rural eastern VA, his hometown. I can't begin to run down the list of torments that the people here put us through. In a way my own mother was partly responsible for this because she isn't very intelligent. Anyway both of my parents were inadequate caregivers, period. but I have a little respect for my mom so I am going to take her back to her country just to be civil. I've endured cross burnings, rock throwing, numerous fights, etc. I told my father even though he wasn't living with us and he didn't even care. He simply wanted to deny that we, me and my sisters, were not accepted. Just to give an indication of how bad it was, two years ago I wrote a letter to Montel Williams about my life and was contacted about being on the show and I subsequently declined. I'm not after publicity. I wanted only to reveal the truth and the evil that country hicks are capable of. I wish you could see the place where I grew up. You said that you felt left out amony caucasian peers. I find that it's natural for these white people to mingle with their own and I do to an extent forgive that, only until they begin mocking other cultures. Well just remember that those same people would not be as reveled if they were in our culture. You would laugh at the people and the arrogance that you would encounter if had lived where I grew up . I'm not the kind of person to pick on appearance but considering the attitudes, small towns have this way of making mediocre looking people believe that they are the best looking people in the world. And then they judge other people who they consider unattractive based on whatever reason they can find. Snobs are found in all walks of life, but I've met more open people in the city who look ten times better than the people here. But I realize that that is characteristic of almost any small town that doesn't allow competition. Don't get me wrong I"m happy for what I have now. I have to let you know that I do blame my parents. Needless to say I don't like my father, period. I do however have respect for my mother to a certain extent. She wasn't very supportive of me and my sisters either. My life here in VA has shaped my personality. I'm not a cold person by nature but life has made me a stern and hard nosed individual. Hatred is a part of my life now. I cannot deny that. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I attended college and realized that not all caucasians are the same. Narrowmindedness breeds strongly in small rural areas.Now I know how perpetrators of hate and violence are created. They're made, not born that way I I don't know yet, but travelling will help me determine where I want to move to. What place in the US do you recommend for people like me?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Friday, February 18, 2005
dude, check this out! It's SO funny!
I was messing around and made this in photoimpact...the full view pic is on my deviant art website: www.xxwisperxx.deviantart.com
Friday, February 11, 2005
I found this poem, and thought it was a really cute idea for Valentine's Day~
I will not play at Tug O War
I'd rather play at Hug O War
Where everyone hugs, instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rugs,
Where everyone kisses and everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles and everyone wins.
-Shel Silverstein
Saturday, February 05, 2005
here is a closer view of it
This is a vanity that my dad and I just refinished....i think it looks 200% better!
So, yea. I haven't posted in forever...just thought I would write something here. I am at school and we are in the middle of printing our first "school newspaper". I wrote this article about spongebob being gay (literally) and had to change it at the last minute, b/c the person who proofread it said it wasn't appropriate for little kids who may read it. Grr.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Merrrry Christmas ya'll ! That is Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo (from southpark) spreading holiday wishes both near and far. :)
Friday, December 17, 2004
This is one of my favorite paintings. It is by Ramaz Razmadze.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Here is a pic of my mom at the airport before I left AZ.
Here is a picture of Britt from when I went to Arizona that I just found. This is right before we got on a ride at the fair. Dude, my digital camera sucks. It eats batteries like no other!
I haven't posted for a while...I've been kinda busy/ plus i haven't taken any new pictures recently either.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Ginger pie!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
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This is before we left. Do you see that weird thing by his head on the right side? It's in another picture of him also- it kind of scares me, it looks like one of those pictures you see on "Unsolved Mysteries" of a ghost-like apparition...
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Dylan Swingin...lol
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Dylan and I last night in Miles City
Dylan, my dad and I went to the big cit-ae last night (hah Miles City). My dad played music at the book store the whole night, while Dylan and I went out for a while and saw “The Incredibles” I truly didn’t want to go, but since it was the only movie playing, I settled. I was SOOO surprised and impressed by how the movie was! I especially loved the skit before the movie about a modest dancing sheep. It was by far the cutest cartoon I’ve ever seen. And the movie—wow, I was surprised by how realistically they depicted family life (beside the fact that the whole family consisted of super heroes, lol) I love it when they can reach an audience, instead of the same ole Disney propaganda about every family being ideal (e.g. Alladin, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King etc.) Anyway, I was very impressed.
After the movie, Dylan and I walked around for a while, and then went back to the bookstore and listened to a few poetry readings, and a country western singer. One of my dad’s friends was encouraging me to sing, but I told him I would feel too uncomfortable seeing as I had nothing prepared. At any rate, it was an nice night "out on the town."
Monday, November 01, 2004
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Adam and I at the Arizona State Fair a few days ago. :)
This is a picture I manipulated quite a while ago, I just came across it again in my pictures folder though. I love this...it evokes a lot of emotion (for me, at least)
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Here's another one
Here is a picture of my mom from a "photo shoot" yesterday. (By photo-shoot, I mean me going around with a camera and pretending like I'm a photographer. Haha)
Here is the 130 ft Bungee Ball thing I went on. The bungee cords project you even farthen that those polls stick out. Crazy, huh?
I finally have my braces off (as you can see from the picture) It's not as weird getting them off the second time though...they don't feel too slimy.
Last night I went to the Arizona State Fair with Britney. We rode on tons of make-you-puke rides, including the "hard rock" and the "zipper". It's amazing how much you can spend at the frikin' fair! There was so many awesome things to buy there- not to mention the food, which smelled DELICIOUS. It's terrible to have all of that tempting, greasy food around a carnival, especially for me, the girl most prone to motion sickness. Britt and I used all 34 of our tickets in about 2 hours, and were just walking out of our last "ride" (a mirror funhouse) (By the way, curse those FAT MIRRORS. That's just depressing!) when we saw Adam. Britt and I had to head back to Phoenix in about 20 minutes, so we just sat there and talked and kept putting quarters in those "Footsie Wootsie" massage thingies. Then Adam started saying how he wanted to do something while we were there, and eventually the conversation led to Adam and I going together on the Bungee Ball. Now, this is undoubtably the most thrilling ride at the carnival. It is 20 bucks per person, and only two people are allowed on the ride at a time. They strap you into this ball, and shoot you 130 feet into the air, and let you suspend from bungee cords in mid air, the whole time having a camera in there, so that your friends below can see your facial expression the whole time. I almost peed my pants as the suspense built up, but when it finally happened, it was awesome. I thought my stomach would drop hella hard, but it didn't make me sick at all!
Tonight I am going to go to the Jimmy Eat World/ Killers/ other bands who I don't know are attending/ concert. I have been to a concert in forever i think since Blues Traveler last year. I think this concert is a big Arizona State Fair thing that the radio station "The Zone" is sponsoring. It should be a blast though.
I am very excited to go home. It's odd how I don't get too much of a thrill out of vacations anymore. Actually, I take that back. Because this isn't really a vacation. It was more like a mandatory appointment to get my braces off. If I had a real vacation, I would enjoy myself compppplettely. I've never really been on any sort of tropical vacation, e.g. Hawaii... I am going to add that to my list of things to do, asap. Although, it probably won't happen for years to come. Anyway, I'm rambling now. I'll post more when I get back to Montana! XOXO
hi
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This is my mom and I at the mall yesterday. Aren't my teeth pretty? I'
"Childhood's over the moment you know you're going to die."
-The Crow
"Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness."
-James Thurber
"The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home but you don't want to talk to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please give me a call."
-"When Harry Met Sally"
"Do or do not; there is no try."
-Yoda, from "The Empire Strikes Back"
"Experience, which destroys innocence, also leads one back to it."
-James Baldwin
"I used to think that life had a plan for me, until i realized life had to be planned by me, see thats the key, I only deal wit what I can see, cuz over history, mystery brought us nothin but misery."
-Nelly
"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else."
-Ralph WaldEmerson
"Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place."
-Ice T
"People need loving the most when they deserve it the least."
-John Harrigan
"The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love!"
-Margaret Atwood
Hah
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Dylan in sociology class last night. Ohh by the way, while we were in Soc. class, there was a huge fire on the football field that extended all the way to the road...I guess it spread over from the Bonfire for homecoming. I even got pictures of it on my cell phone! But for some reason, my phone won't let me send pictures to the internet anymore. Grrr.
Hola! I went to school today (as opposed to yesterday and the day before, when I was sick) and had a decent day. I was going to take the PSAT's today, but I forgot my money, $11.00, to take it with. Ohhh well, I suppose. I don't think I would have done very well anyhow, and I know for sure I wouldn't have recieved one of those national merit scholarships. My math section would just be wayyyy too poor.
Hur hur, my mom just called me and asked me if I wanted tickets to Jimmy Eat World. "YEESSSS" I said. Wow, neato!
My mom is at the presidential debates, and is going to the Kerry Rally tonight. She's all pumped, being an avid democrat and all. Yay for her.
I leave for Arizona on the 19th, and depart back on the 24th, I believe. I am going to get my braces off. (FINALLY!) I am glad I had my braces again though, being the perfectionist that I am. I also am dying to get my hair dyed (aren't I just the master of Pun's or what?Hah) From what I have been told, getting your hair done around here isn't a very smart idea. I would test this theory out, but I am a little too obsessive with the condition of my hair to do that. I don't have money to get it re- done if it comes out all f'ed up.
Wow, I am sure whoever is reading this is completely and utterly enthralled! But, as for now, I most go. Haha...later.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Haley is a smiling pup!
Saturday, October 09, 2004
This is a picture I also have on my deviant art site--- www.xxwisperxx.deviantart.com
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
!!!!Smile like a croc-o-dial :)
croc-o-dial and Kitty :)
Croc-o-dial and Turtle :)
Saturday, October 02, 2004
this is the, uhhh, moon. (On my birthday) (see that little dot there in the sky!?) I know, I know, I am a MASTER of the photographic arts.
There's another angle...you can see the balloons that Amanda got me too.
These are the flowers, and shampoo I got from Dylan for my birthday. (Oh, and also a and a half-eaten cake) hah
Guess what day it is? My Birthday!! I can’t believe I am seventeen…it seems like I am still thirteen or so. It’s been awesome so far. This year my birthday has been such an event~ barely anyone even remembered last year. My friend Ceder Called me this morning, and when I got to school Dylan gave me a present (Really nice ABBA shampoo, A bowl with that is a soccer ball, and little stationary that his mom made that says “Heidi” on it). Then later in the day my bud Amanda taped a bunch of Balloons outside of my locker. It’s also her birthday and another boy named Jimmy’s birthdays too. At lunch Dylan gave me a bunch of flowers (carnations) my locker smells SOOOO good now! I am in Spanish right now and I am supposed to be getting pictures off of the Internet for this personal narrative collage things, so I’m gonna go for now
Saturday, September 25, 2004
This is my awwwessomme friend Jillian with her pup Charlie...poor pup, I miss him :( Doesn't she look cute here?
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Saturday, September 18, 2004
I am singing the national anthem in about an hour, and my voice is still not fully recouperated from my cold/sore throat. The part "And the Rock-ets red Glare" is really scetchy sounding still. I hope I don't totally crack on the top.
Right after I sing I have to video the whole football game...its usually rather boring just sitting there pushing play and pause, but I think it will be a bit more entertaining today b/c Amanda is there (we are singing the national anthem together) to talk to. She usually goes home to her ranch on the weekends, so I always video the away games, but she stayed in town this w/e.
I really want to bring my digital camera and take some photos, but it has been being a real p.o.s. lately. It turns off in the middle of taking a photo. Grrrr. But yea, I better go get ready...get my jersey on and such. (Yay team spirit. Hoorah.) lol not really.
This is a pic of me from quite a while ago...I think last December.
Friday, September 17, 2004
This is when I was still in AZ...my old lap top was a real piece of shit! I am texting someone on my phone. Britt snapped this the last night I was there. We played laser tag that night, and I came in like 24th place out of 30 or something. My "code name" was Hoodrat. You can even see Britt's cell phone to the side there<<<
I love this picture. Awww. I changed the focus on the picture, so it is blurry towards the edges of the photo. I also put a slight pink tint around the edges.
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Here's a pic of me that I sort of manipulated. Actually...all I did was add diamonds as a border and B&W'd it. Sexi SEXI eh?
This is a pic of the oh-so-GORGEOUS Joey...I basically cute out a whole lot of parts of his face and made a sort of collage...I also used the "charcoal" efffect. I have this as my computer background. I love it!
Internet Ahoy! Haha...I just got the internet today, I am REALLLLLYY excited. It's like discovering a whole new world...again.
Tonight Amanda and I baked a cake and some brownies for this bake-raffle we are having tomorrow. We are trying to raise money to get new choir robes( I was informed today that the robes are LITERALLY 40 years old). Hm, yes.
My dad is in Missoula right now, he is supposed to be back sometime tomorrow, so I am allll alone tonight. I would ALMOST be scared...except for the fact that no one ever locks their doors here, and things still do not get stolen. And also, if I went outside at night (right now for example, 12:03) it would be deathly silent; almost silent enough to hear a pin drop in the street. The sky is so clear here. I felt like I was always looking through a clouded lens while I was in Phoenix. It is refreshing to be able to taste the crisp mountain air again! (How corny did that sound?!)
Anyway, I'm not tired, and I REALLLLLY want to navigate through my beloved internet some more, but see, the thing is- I have school tomorrrow. And you know me...I MUST get my beauty rest. Actually, its going to be absolutely hilarious tomorrow. Amanda lent me her rodeo princess belt buckle and a "cowgirl" (or "hick") looking shirt. She told me that I would get the shit dissed out of me. Hmmm, this will be interesting. A school of only 58 kids (80% of whom live on ranches) and yet nearly ALL of them despise country music, and anything "hick". Hmm, this will be interesting indeed. According to my calculations, my hypothesis should be proven correct within a matter of hours. Muh hahahahah. WTF. Ha. Okay I'm going to bed now.
I took a tour of the school today; its definitely a change, but I think I'm going to have a lot of fun. I fixed up my room so its way cute...it has a lot of purple and white (which I coincidentally found out are Terry's school colors...lol) but my bed rolls around whenever I sit on it (hard wood floor, and the bed has wheels). We are in Mid- River's communications right now, and my dad is discussing which computer plan to get...I think we are going to get DSL. But yea, I better go, my dad looks pretty perplexed on this whole cutting-edge computer technology thing. Hah
Saturday, August 28, 2004
I'm so sickkkkk of packing! I've been packing since about 7 this morning. All I have is really small boxes, so its even more tedious, ughh. I leave tomorrow at 6 A.M. if I didn't already mention that.
I better go, I'm SUCH a PROCRASTINATOR!
Oh yea- everyone should listen to the song "The End of the Line" by the Traveling Wilburys! It rox my sox!
That profile picture was bothering me...hmm, so I put this one on. You know what bother's me even more? That the photo in my profile has to already be hosted on my website. Complete POPPY COCK! Hah
Me ^_^, about two weeks ago.
I wanted to let everyone know (because SO MANY people read my page with great anticipation everyday and all) that I most likely won't be posting for quite a while. I am moving in with my dad who lives in a small town in Montana...population 300. I am not going to have my lap top anymore :( or my cell phone :( :( I might get on the computer's at school or something though, who knows...or maybe I'll even try to do a few audio blogs...though it hasn't worked the last few times I've tried to post.
I am really excited to meet the kids from my school, and experience a new sort of culture-shock(lol). I leave early Sunday morning (I only have one day to pack up everything I own and ship it off!) Wow, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I better get some sleep. Night~ xx
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Dylan! Look, you're on my website!
This is my fav...whenever I look at this picture it makes me feel happy and loved. Lol...isn't it ghetto that I don't even have a scanner, so I took a picture of the picture? Rock ONNN!
Art is Hard.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
This song is beautiful. It captures lonliness, and loss of faith exquisitely.
Azure Ray-November
So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
Ill be alone, maybe more carefree
like a kite that floats so effortlessly
i was afraid to be alone
now im scared thats how id like to be
all the faces, none the same
how can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless, empty hands
so many hearts in great demand
and now my sorrow seems too far away
until im taken by these bults of pain
but i turn them off and tuck them away
'till these rainy days that make them stay
and then ill cry so hard to these sad songs
and the words still ring
once here, now gone
and they echo through my head everyday
and i dont think theyll ever go away
just like tihnking of your childhood home
but we cant go back were on our own
ohhh
but im about to give this one more shot
and find it in myself
ill find it in myself
so were speeding towards that time of year
to the day that marks your not here
and i think ill want to be alone
so please understand that i dont answer the phone
ill just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
untill i can see nothing at all
only particles some fast some slow
all my eyes can see is all i know
ohh...but im about to give this one more shot
and find it in myself
ill find it in myself
Haha...my brother took this, I look like I'm going to kill someone
I am absolutely exstatic right now! Harold just brought over my lap top...and I am in my room right now using it for the first time. It's way weird having no mouse, and the keyboard doesn't make hardly any sound when I type. I don't have a dvd player or burner on here, though. :( I am glad I can finally have a dependable computer, without having other people from my family downloading viruses and messing with my account. I think its official that I am spoiled though...lol.
Okay, I just tried to copy this to spell check it, and it won't work...I can't figure out how to copy.... Oh well, I apologize for any spelling errors(thought there are like 50 in this blog already) haha
I took a pic of this sign at this venue I was at last night called The Mason Jar. It was really hardcore...not really my style, but it was awesome nevertheless. It's odd actually: I don't really like to listen to h-core metal like that on a regular basis on my C.D. player, but it I was really getting into it b/c it was a live show.
Here is another production of mine. The figure on the right side isnt too visible- it is a guy w/ his hands up, and that's a gun thrown down on the floor next to him. The Sheriff is saying "stick em up". I can only imagine the deep-seated issues my clay teacher must think I have
haha
This is my creation I made in clay class yesterday...haha, guess what it is? The clay teacher is like "yea...uhh, good job Heidi...very um, creative...."
A picture I took last fall and used the "stamp" effect on it. I'm holding a clear glass spiky star.
Last night I saw "The Manchurian Candidate". I enjoyed it, although the plot was geared more politically than I would have liked. But for a political thriller, it was pretty entertaining.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
This person was doing this in front of his house, and drew a lot of people. I don't know the correct term for this-- but he had balls of fire at the ends of chains, and was swinging them around. A girl did it after him.
This was by far my beloved piece of artwork. I like the surreal nature of this painting, and how it alludes to the fact that the cat is tripping out about fish swimming downstream. The assortment of bottles surrounding the cat adds the final touch.
I'm not quite sure what is going on with this one...you've got to admit, the puppy is cute though.
This piece was in a big warehouse with a bunch of paintings that look just like this one. It was very simple, and drew my attention.
Last night my friend Vladimir and I went to this improv comedy club called “Jester’s”. It was hilarious! I guess eight people take these improv classes for eight weeks, and then perform their improv skills in front of an audience of about 30 people and try to make them laugh. They did all sorts of scenarios…like one where they asked someone in the audience about there life, and then they made their own slightly tainted version of the person’s “life story”. It was cute; because the subject of their “life story” for the night was a lady who was there for her bachelorette party…she looked really embarrassed, lol.
Jillian and Heidi on: Eating dog crap and Angry Rappers
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
The back
This is the finished product. More red than I would have liked, but still cute.
Haha I got a little bored waiting for my hair color to process, so I took this gorgeous pic ;) Don't you adore the foil? I think it's hot.
This is the most beautiful song I know~
A Perfect Sonnet
Lately i've been wishing i had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing matters
All would be clear then
But i guess i'll have to settle for a for a few brief moments
And watch all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
Or one foolish line
Because that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here and then you're gone
But i believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
And left there to drown
Left there to drown
In their innocence
But as for me i'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before i know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be
So i stand in the sun
And i breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you have ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying ina bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost
But once you knew a girl and you named her lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, she disappeared
You don't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she is gone because she left you a song
That you don't want to sing
We're singing i believe that lovers should be chained together
Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn in their arrogance
But as for me i'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But i still ended up becoming something other than what i had planned to be
Now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness
By: Bright Eyes
I find this picture to be disturbing, but beautiful at the same time.
ah,soothing :)
This is a picture of me that my friend Dylan drew. I dont know though
what do you think? Does that look like me? I think the features are too soft to be me
lol.
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. ... it is a thing to be achieved.
The feeling may be mutual.
My version of Vermilion Part 2
My living room
My bedroom
Doesn't my great grandma's eyes look creepily like mine?
Ceder, Lauren and I were "urban trekking" through Great Falls, Montana. (In preparation for our backpacking trip through the Bob Marshall Wilderness)
Jillian and I on her roof (see the road in the background?!)
The resolution is poor
Fate still knocking at my door
Witless people wonder
While I ponder
Electricity fuels the fire
The castle remains dire
Freshly painted skin
Waits for its moment to blend in
Tales have become trite
Are you alright?
If those walls could talk, they would shout
Easily pretending they know nothing of a person’s whereabouts
Not having an ending
No closure for the mending
Demolished
Then resurrected
Needing to be reconstructed
Highlighted
Then tinted
The filter is broke
Naïve
More primitive
Try to forfeit
The intermittent
Of frosty hearts…
Of humid eyes …
I would like a burger
And some fries
This is the background I have on my computer. It reminds me of the days I used to collect stamps.
Hahahahaha
These are the sweethearts that I baby sit... Leigha (left) is the neighbor girl who is always over and hanging out with Sarah (middle), she is eight, and Leah�s (right) older sister. That Leah is one crazy girl! She always takes her clothes off, lol.
I’ve thought a few times about excavating some of my old poetry and publishing it on this site, and now I’m finally getting around to it. I wrote this sometime in 2003, during my freshman year. I don’t remember what I was so angry about, but this was the way I chose to release my pain. Most of my poetry, I look back on and think “wow, I was a awful writer back then” but this particular one, I still love, because sometimes I still feel this way. It is a simple poem…and lacks complex thoughts as to what specifically makes me mad, and the typical “deep poetic meaning” , but I think that is what makes me still love it still today.
Fuck this class
Fuck it all being my fault
Fuck you
You’re on halt
Fuck my tears
Fuck the pain
Fuck the aching in m brain
Fuck the way you feel
It doesn’t matter
Your words are just cling and clatter
Fuck my problems
Fuck it all
I’m slipping, and anticipating my fall
Fuck what you think
I don’t care
Because when I need you
You’re never there
Fuck what I want
It will never happen
What I want
Is to back up to back then
Last Friday my friend Adam and I went to this awesome event called "First Friday's" (it takes place on the first Friday of every month. Basically it's a big gathering of artists who have bought houses in central phoenix to display their art in make-shift style galleries. These artists have bought up about two blocks houses, and the surrounding houses are that of struggling music artists.I knew there was a huge subculture of hip-hop wannabe’s and the whole “club scene” in Phoenix, but I had no idea that there was a group of people who love art and are into the whole free spirit/ individuality thing. It was refreshing to finally see some people who don’t look like mindless/trendy/Abercrombie& Fitch-obsessed/suburban raving lunatics. We also stopped by this place called “The Catfish Grill” where there was southern cooking, and this guy who looked and sounded like Barry White as a DJ. I had a great time, and hope to go again when I get back from Montana!
I could not quite figure this one out. Three people in the same painting who are complete antithesiss, and yet, it all flows together. I know there must have been some deep artistic meaning in it that I couldnt quite grasp (The rabbit had gold coins in a bubble in his head!), so I took a picture. No luck in figuring it out yet. If anyone has any logical interpretation, please let me know!
This one was among my favorites; you can�t particularly see the detail of it b/c of the grainy quality of the picture. There was a thick sheet with holes ripped in it placed over the painting with selected pieces of the painting showing through. J Very unique!
A compilation of record covers strewn together with a superman cutout that forms a "masterpiece"
lol.
This drawings is titled "it's not a rat"-drawn by a rather interesting looking artist.
This is picture is so awesome...this was actually taken in town, and the river was digitally positioned into the backdrop. This is one of the photos my dad has for his press release.
This is a poem I wrote ealier today.
Calm years lack reflection
Existence is no exception
Liberation has no determination
Weeping in diverse variation
No objective to achieve
Emotional ADD
Their thrashing is painless
Profanity is the arraignment
Each song represents a scene
Back when the setting was so serene
The cliché is jumbled
Their trite virtue at last humbled
My dad sent this to me in an email...hilarious eh?
School is out! I feel liberated! Although, I could very well die of boredom. Anything’s better than school though, right? These past few days I’ve been working out religiously. It is extremely weird going to the gym w/o Eveline. She left me a message yesterday saying that she would be back in town in about ten days, and that California was awesome so far. I’ve never been to San Francisco. The only places I’ve been in California are Sacramento and Anaheim. I would love to go back to Disneyland again sometime.
Mad Cow! hahaha
Haha...this reminds me of my family for some reason. From left to right it would be Heidi, Deb, Carl, and Rick.
I spent last night at Eveline's house. After school we went to a nail salon, and she got a fill, and I got a new set. The lady doing our nails was not doing a very good job…she put too much acrylic on our nails, and then she put alcohol on it to stop the burning! Haha…doesn’t alcohol exacerbate the pain? After we got home we watched scary movie and "Stuck Together" or something like that. The next day her going away party started at 11:00 am. Her guy friend Kim from Norway was there right at 11, but everyone else was about an hour late. Most of the time it was just Ana, Kim, Eveline and I; all of the other people came and went. We made it a party though! We played cards for a while, and then this girl Natalia taught us to dance salsa. We also watched the movie that Eveline compiled of her trip to America on her laptop; I can’t wait to get the copy, she has footage of New York, Chicago, Hollywood, L.A….so many places! I will live vicariously through her, since I have never been to any of those places beside L.A. Lol… I have been spending a lot of time with her lately, because she is leaving soon (next Thursday:/ I almost wonder if it was a wise decision on my part to let myself become so close with a foreign exchange student. I love her so much; I can see us becoming inseparable if she lived in the same place as me permanently. We are already very close with one another, and we have only been known each other for less than a year. She is meeting her parents at the airport right now. I’m so nervous for her; she has been freaking out the last couple of days anticipating her parents’ arrival. She said she would “stop by at some random time” I don’t know whether she meant with or without her parents, I guess I’ll find out though!
School is almost out! It’s about time eh? My summer is going to be exciting…I have so many things to do. First, my mom is making me sit around in Gilbert for a month though. It seems rather pointless to me, considering I could be using that time to visit friends in Montana. I guess I should look on the good side of it though; I will fix up the house and FINALLY get the guest room squared away. It’s not that the guest room is messy or gross by any means; it’s just that it’s terribly bland. It reminds me of a…desert- completely featureless, dull and drab as all hell. (Ha-ha how ironic! I live in one) I’ll paint it lime green or something to spruce it up. I’ve got to go study for finals…what a drag.Wish me luck
Eveline doing a "Verizon" pose haha...I have this as my phone background
Me (Heidi) 2003-2004 Soccer Season
My favorite Picture
Eveline and I outside of Nicatoni's Italian Restaurant
This is probably my favorite song in the whole world. It's called "Doll Parts" by Courtney Love...I know there is tons of controversy about her and Kurt Cobain, but its not that I idolize her, I just love this particular song.Enjoy:)
I am doll eyes
Doll mouth
Doll legs
I am doll arms
Big veins
Dog bait
Yea they really want you
They really want you
They really do
Yea they really want you
They really want you
But I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
I love him so much he just turns to hate
I fake it so real I am beyond fake
And someday you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
I am doll parts
Bad skin
Doll heart
It stands for knife
For the rest of my life
Yea they really want you
They really want you
They really do
Yea they really want you
They really want you
But I do too
I want to be the girl with the most cake
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break
I fake it so real I am beyond fake
And some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Some day you will ache like I ache
Friday, February 27, 2004
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
"In order to get out of a predicament, you must you use a level of thinking higher than that of which got you into the predicament in the first place"
---Albert Einstein
omg...this has been crazy, i havn't been able to get into blogger forever, i don't know what was up with it. I havn't even tried for about a month, but then I happened to be sitting here, bored, and I decided to try the futile effort once again...and YAY! I'm innnnnnnnn!
Okay, enough of that...goodtimes.
Well, its really late so i suppose I'll write more later...toodles
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
“Of all the critics in the world, the hardest of them all is our own selves”.
Wow, exhausting. It has been a hectic day…we just got the keys to our house today, and we picked out all of the colors for our house, and painted my room all afternoon. I still have paint in my hair, but I figure, why wash it out? I am just gonna screw it all up tomorrow again anyway! Well, I’m going to pass out, so I’ll write more later.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
I have written an assortment of blogs today, I guess its just one of those days where you don’t know what to do with yourself. I’ve been having plenty of those lately. Gooooddd I find it so difficult to express my thought on paper, and make people feel what I feel through my diction…it’s frustrating!
I have decided that Sheryl Crow is one cool cat…I mean seriously-her voice is so cool, it is raspy, yet chic. Often I wish I was famous like Britney Spears, or J-lo, but when you think about it, they are no better off than any of us…Ok before you cast that aside as totally insane, let me explain. They have money and everything, possibly everything that anyone could every desire: fame, fortune, beauty…blah blah blah…. But I mean, how much can money reaaaaalllyy buy a person? Ok, J-lo has “rocks” and the finest clothes money can buy, and also the envy of nearly every girl in the world.
But I do take note how much of a freakin rollercoaster mess her love life has been, and how busy and stressful her life must be. Me, I don’t have a thing to worry about in the world, because no one is watching me waiting for the moment I screw up so they can shoot me DOWN AND CHOP ME UP AND EAT MEEE ALLIIVEEEE. Whoa, got a little carried away there. Anyway, the point is…for someone like Halle Berry that is so insanely beautiful, I can only imagine how hard it is to find some one who likes her for her. This spokesman for “safe sex” came to our school last year and gave us the big spiel about “how far beauty gets you”. I remember him telling us all about how she was on the cover of some popular magazine that he reads regularly, and he read an article about Halle attempting suicide after yet another failed relationship-with some guy who she thought loved her, but in all reality only loved her body.
So maybe what I just said is another way of boosting my self esteem (and if it is, it’s a sick one at that) but I truly never want to experience being THAT famous.
Tears have run arid
It all went away
Where is my verve
Could it be hiding in my soul?
It left me when I least expected
Running into that hole
Disappearing into my laughter
There goes another concept enclosed
Perhaps that’s why
I have lost my life
Not another photo-
A different kind of lie
It dwells in a slow mo
Picture perfect life
Ache within my memories
Cross out the future eyes
Once never there
Now always here
Hushed purified cries
Fresh taste
Swollen eyes
Picture perfect lives
Here are some rather dull poems i wrote...lol.
Larry
Life is beautiful
When the trees are fruitful
Life's light turns dim
When you can't win
Life began to get scarey
When i met Larry
Life was refreshing
Now its depressing
My life came to end an end
That day that Larry became more than a friend
Glances
Fragile bitter glances;
Two from the outside
One too many dances;
Sound ringing amplified
Lessen the load
Three will do
Run in front of this
We'll exchange glances
I'll run over you
In case anyone is actually interested in reading this, here is this essay i wrote for english class in december...
“No” I whispered to myself as I sat alone in a corner of my room. Cotton seemed to overtake the horde of saliva in my mouth. Sweat and tears dripped over my skin. I was breaking down for the third time that day. “How…? Am I…?”…”GOOOODDD! Why? Why?” Already it has been three weeks and it is as if I am finding out for the first time. Out of control and mad at the world for the undeserved sentencing was a lonely sixteen year old girl. I broke down periodically…often on a daily basis.
“Cancer” –Doc spoke the words with such crisp clarity, yet I was compelled by shock to ask him pardon. It has now been three months. The mere fact of knowing I was going to die in nine months wasn’t the tough part. I have always been able to look death straight in the face. It’s the time that scares me. I would rather hit by a car than suffer in this way, in this miserable state. “Living every last second as if it were my last”…this is especially true for me now, since I am virtually waiting at the edge of the cliff to jump. I wake up every day knowing that I am going to die. This is not right! It is going against the natural grain of life! My life is slipping away like sand through an hour glass. There are some feats I must accomplish, and things I must say before I pass. I cannot sit and dwell in my self pity for any longer. I refuse to be akin to the typical ailing, depressed cancer patient that thinks-well knows- his/her days are over. Therefore I am writing you this letter.
July third 1995-eight years old, and remember it as though it were yesterday. Sarah Schaeffer and I were best friends, and our mothers were as well. Our annual hike up to Mineopa Lake was the highlight of my summer. As we neared the lake, the tadpoles that recently had formed into frogs were leaping onto the trail. The rays of sunlight were beaming through the Ponderosa’s. We had been hiking since sunrise, and we were at last nearing the final little hill. “Wow.” Is all I could say when I was reunited with that gleaming lake. It was practically calling my name. I swear I heard it say “Come swim in my charming waters and set adrift on this lake of bliss.” So, what could I girl do? I ran as fast as I could and hurled myself into that gorgeous lake. I kept swimming further and further, ignoring my mothers pleads for me to come back to shore. Before I knew it, I was plummeting into the dreary depths of those once so trustworthy waters. It’s ironic how silent it becomes when you are drowning. My body wanted to let go, but my mind wanted to hold on. I don’t remember much else after that. I just remember opening my eyes to the sky, and seeing Sarah’s astonished face looming over me. She saved me life that day.
The illusive first love: it lures people into loving the idea of being in love. It captivated me too, I will admit willingly. I too was wounded with cupid’s arrow. His name was Ryder. He was the new kid, the mystery boy. I fell in love with him, and he broke my heart at the Labor Day Weekend rodeo. The second love, for me, was the more meaningful of the two. Don Gibbons is his name…and he was also a mystery to me for many years. I knew nearly everyone in that town, except for him- he was so untouchable. He was always surrounded by a group of friends, laughing and joking. I finally met him one night at a party after he and his band had won “Battle of the Bands”. We instantly clicked, and have been together ever since. Have you caught on yet? “Ever since” meaning we are still together. He is the only thing that keeps me from killing myself to end my foreseeable suffering.
My mind cannot help but be besieged with thoughts of what will become of him following my demise. I ask myself: how long will it take for him to find another? What if some awful woman takes advantage of him in his most vulnerable state? I am concerned intensely about his wellbeing, and especially frustrated with the notion that he will be so lost! I will that he not loathe in sorrow, but as an alternative, rejoice! We should delight in our final moments together. This seems to be practically impractical though! He and I both know precisely what my fate is. In the past, it has been essential that he have a sense of closure in order to move on with his life. What will the closure be for this particular situation? Will it be my death?
Cutting my own hair the night before picture day in seventh grade, never making the basketball team, or getting suspended from school for the alleged use of drugs are all events that one would rather not mention. These are moments that one would almost certainly cast aside from their memory, and often try to forget. To all those people who do: you are most certainly fools for feeling that you do not owe who you are in all its entirety to these experiences that you choose not to recollect; because I however will not be able to recall anything at all when I have gone. Cherish every moment, for its true: you never know which day could be your last.
Today is a new day. A new day of moving things from desks to boxes. I am already so tired of moving; I've done it so much lately...ugh. I better get back to packing so i don't have to rush around tomarrow.
This is yours truly-Heidi! I am going to try to keep an online journal of all of the "events" that go on in my life...weather or not its actually interesting- well, we will just have to see i suppose.
I am 16 years old, going on 75...i swear it! I think i have an old very old soul, considering what I've been through already at this age. I mean, if this many life altering episdoes can happen before I've even "left the nest" so to speak, then its a toss-up as to what will happen a few years down the road. I presently go to school in Phoenix, AZ. Call me paranoid, but i have a feeling someone that knows me is going to find this secret "diary" of mine and just have field day with it, so I'm not gonna include any specifics just yet. I have read a few blogs that people have recently posted, and some of them are so hysterical! Not all of them are that way though, some of the people write about GOD and all things holy and have goodtimes doing that...whatever tickles their pickles.
One reason i wanted to try to blog all the time is to get a better handle on writing. I have a good hold on how to express myself verbally...but when it comes to writing, it seems like my vocabulary span is about two words. I've been trying to figure out how to publish pictures, this site is so complicated. I see some peoples blogs and seriously get jeaulous that they can figure it out...I'm just a poor newbe.
